


Find a map that takes me back

by Shaitanah



Category: Being Human
Genre: Detox, Dreams vs. Reality, Gen, Hallucinations, Rehabilitation, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 13:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaitanah/pseuds/Shaitanah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hal’s rehab hallucinations are getting more and more elaborate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find a map that takes me back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [non_canonical](https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_canonical/gifts).



> **Disclaimer** : _Being Human_ belongs to Toby Whithouse and the BBC. Title from “Peace of Mind” by Bat For Lashes.  
>  **A/N** : Weird, trippy and, well, the usual.

The dream unravels little by little, coming apart when he pulls the first thread. The deck of cards. His hard-won humanity is not real. 

(You were talking in your sleep, Alex tells him. He isn’t sure he wants to know what he’s been saying.)

Where did they go wrong? In the studio? Some time before that?

(Alex asks him if hell is real. He tells her the time-honoured legend of Old Nick’s wink. They say that’s how vampires lose their reflections. Alex laughs, and says it’s kind of silly. Hal agrees.)

Hal is drunk. They should have believed him about Natasha. Bloody idiots. Can’t they tell a knife wound apart from a bite? He looks down at the bodies that litter the floor. He blinks – there are only blood stains. He blinks again – those are gone too. The Old Ones do not recruit lightly. He doubles over and dry-heaves. It feels like he hasn’t had a drop of water in days.

(Tom wipes his forehead with a moist towel. All right, mate? No, it’s not all right; he is feverish and delirious and he thinks he’s got split personalities. Nothing here is bloody all right.)

He can’t stand the look of accusation on Alex’s face. A part of him thinks: you should have helped me better. The other part goes: Shut up, you selfish entitled fuck. He tells her about spending two years in a room with boarded windows. Then he thinks: two years. How was he able to visit Mary? Then he thinks: who is Mary?

(It feels like watching a badly written TV-series.)

When Alan dies, Hal writes him off as evil and beyond redemption. He can’t possibly manage both of them. He needs to be invested in Ian so that…

(Who is Ian?)

Hal kills Larry because he needs to protect Tom. No, let’s start again: Hal kills Larry because he wants to kill. He often dreams of killing these days. Except he can’t even drink Larry’s blood, so what’s the point?

(Alex tells him he should write a dictionary of swear words from, like, Shakespearean times. She asks him if he knew Shakespeare personally. She’s a bit like Pearl in that respect; you can’t scare her off with a little bad language. He apologizes anyway.)

He plucks the dream apart petal after petal, scene after scene. He is still not sure he is fully awake. Tom asks him what’s wrong, and he tells him.

“I get everything,” Tom says. “Except mashed bananas.”

“Me too. I hate bananas.” It must have been an elaborate form of torture. Self-inflicted too, but then, Hal has always been quite adept at devising torments.

(He asked Mr Snow once if the devil was real. To some, the old vampire said. To some, it’s me.)

“One thing though,” Tom says as he loosens Hal’s restraints. “We really did get sacked.”

“I’m not a particularly superstitious person,” Alex comments, “but no way you’re getting jobs at that hotel.”

_May 30, 2013_


End file.
